


Better

by kyluxicle (LadyCamillus)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post Break Up, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-06 12:29:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8751025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCamillus/pseuds/kyluxicle
Summary: Hux broke up with Ren several months ago because he thought they both deserved better, but when Ren ends up in the hospital after a nearly fatal accident he realizes he doesn't want to live without him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a post-break up prompt "you’re my emergency contact and i’ve been in an accident so you drop everything to come to the hospital"
> 
> This is completely self indulgent. Apologies for overdramatic blockheads.

Hux tossed and turned that night, just like he had for the last two months. It was annoying at this point how hard it is to fall asleep without the weight of someone next to him—without heavy arms looped around his waist and hot breath tickling the hair on the back of his neck.

  
He'd broken up with Ren because it was becoming to hard. They argued almost every day and it had come to the point of screaming at each other. The neighbors had actually called the cops one night after Ren had gotten so mad he'd thrown a glass at the wall, breaking it and scattering shards everywhere. The police had shown up at their door inquiring about a domestic, but it wasn't quite that. Neither of them had ever physically harmed the other, but it was a part of why Hux left. He didn't want to give it the chance to escalate.

  
Some days he wonders if it was the right decision. Those are the times when sleep is at its most elusive.

  
When things were good _they were amazing_. Hux had never felt anything like that lightness that Ren brought about in him when he told Hux he loved him or when he smiled and laughed at something Hux had said. He'd been reluctant to say it back at first but he loved Ren too.

  
Most days however he was able to put it from his mind and go about his daily life. It was mundane but it was calm. The night time was the only time he consistently missed Ren and this night was no different.

  
By 3:00am he'd fallen into a light sleep several times, curled around a pillow as a poor substitute for another person.

  
It'd crossed his mind to try dating someone else, and he'd even gotten as far as going out for coffee. Nothing happened past that as his mind kept comparing the man to Ren and he fell short in every way.

  
At 4:00am his phone went off, rousing from another dozed state. He squinted at the bright light to see who it was, but it was an unknown number with a local area code. It was probably a telemarketer, but he was awake so he might as well answer.

  
“Hello?” he croaked and then cleared his throat.

  
“Hi, is this Armitage Hux?” asked a woman's voice.

  
“Speaking.”

  
“Armitage, we have you listed as the emergency contact for Ben Solo. There's been an accident and if you can we need you to come to North General Hospital on Grand.”

  
Any sleep he could've attempted was banished the instant she said ‘accident’. He quickly sat up as his heart began pounding in his chest. Ren's relationship with his family was strained at best, and after dating for six months Hux had agreed to be his emergency contact when Ren asked.

  
“Is he ok? What's happened?” he asked unable to keep the panic from his voice.

  
“Ben was in a car accident. He's currently unconscious, and will need surgery. We can give you more information once you arrive.”

  
“Ok,” Hux said getting out of bed. He could feel his pulse in his throat now. “Ok. I'll be there in twenty- no, fifteen minutes.”

  
“Thank you, please drive safely.”

  
“Right,” he muttered, giving her a quick goodbye.

  
What the _fuck_ was Ren doing driving around at four in the morning? There was a part of Hux that was mad that he'd remained Ren's emergency contact even though they'd broken up over two months ago. Though he supposed that wasn't usually the first thing someone remembered to change after a break up.

  
Stumbling in his haste, Hux pulled on a pair of jeans and a button up before rushing out the door. He'd imagined the first time that he'd see Ren again after everything that happened. He'd thought of it happening at a cafe or while grocery shopping. How awkward it would be to pretend to be strangers after knowing each other so intimately. He'd thought about how he'd do his best to remain civil and how old emotions would surface and leave him angry.

  
Instead the first time he'd see him again would be in a hospital bed in god knows what shape. _Surgery_. What had Ren done?

  
Against his instincts, he did drive carefully. Risking his own life right now would be beyond stupid. Once he got to the hospital there wouldn't be anything that he could actually do for Ren. He was just there to provide whatever information they needed and for moral support. Who knew if Ren would even want him there though. They hadn't exactly parted ways calmly.

  
He parked in the emergency center lot and walked briskly (he was _not_ running) into the reception area.

  
“Hi, my name is Armitage Hux, I received a call about Ky- Ben Solo?”

  
A look of recognition passed over the receptionists face—she must've been the person he spoke to—and she gave him some paperwork to fill out that asked Ren's medical history, informing him that he'd been taken to surgery right away and couldn't wait for this information, but it would still be necessary from there on.

  
Anxiety spiked in Hux again hearing that Ren had been rushed into surgery. He felt numb as he took the clipboard and sat down in the lobby to start filling out what he could. Damn Ren and his family for leaving this to him.

  
He had the form back to her within minutes and asked further about his condition. Why was he in surgery? What were the extent of his injuries? Would he be alright? The self deprecating part of him said that he didn't have any right to care about Ren this much. He didn't have the right and he shouldn't be feeling it in the first place. He was the one who had broken up with him. He shouldn't care this much.

  
A nurse came out after a half an hour of waiting and told him that Ren was still in surgery. The crash had been bad. Someone else had run a red light and t-boned him on the driver's side, leaving the vehicle totaled and parts of the interior had broken away and stabbed into his abdomen. Internal bleeding, broken bones, multiple lacerations, a concussion… The list went on until Hux felt he must be sick. She asked what his relationship to Ren was and being worried that he might not have the right to be there if he said his ex, Hux told her he was his boyfriend.

  
Another hour later the same nurse came back to tell him that Ren was out of surgery and in stable condition. Hux had never felt more relieved in his life. He was told it would be a while still before he could see him and she urged him to find food in the meantime. Ren would remain in the ICU for the day and Hux could visit once he woke up or once the anaesthetic wore off. Whichever came first. The idea that Ren might stay in a coma was horrifying and he tried not to let his mind dwell on it.

  
There was a cafe inside the hospital where he ordered some scrambled eggs and toast along with a large coffee. It was going on 7:00am and he would have to call in to work.

  
As he waited his thoughts ran circles debating with itself about how he should act when he saw Ren again. As much as he had wished he was, he wasn't over Ren and knowing he was hurt so badly drew out how much Hux still cared for him. However he also knew that Ren hadn't gotten over him right away. Maybe he was now, but after Hux left Ren had tried calling him at least three times a day for the next week. It had to hurt to be cut out like that. There was a chance Ren didn't want him there.

  
It took until 9:00am until he was finally allowed to visit Ren. Five hours since the initial call.

  
His hands were sweating as he was walked towards his room, moving past various monitors and machinery, doctors and nurses rushing around them to take care of the other patients. When they stepped around the curtain to where Ren was lying, Hux found himself completely unprepared.

  
The first thing Hux noticed were the bandages wrapping around Ren's head and covering half of his face. He had a neck brace on and was dressed in the standard hospital gown with the bed covers drawn up to his waist, his arms lying on top of them wrapped in bandages with a myriad of tubes connecting him to the surrounding monitors. The part of his face that Hux could see was scratched and looked swollen. None of this was how Ren should have ever been.

  
Ren opened his uncovered eye when he heard them approaching and scoffed when he saw Hux. His eye scanned down his body before he closed it again. A hint of a smirk played on his lips.

  
“You look like shit,” he mumbled hoarsely.

  
And Hux couldn't help himself. He laughed. Between the two of them there was no contest between who looked worse, but hearing him joke snapped something in Hux and he laughed even as tears slipped down his cheeks.

  
The nurse left them alone and told them to use the button in case they needed anything.

  
“They told me my boyfriend was here waiting for me,” Ren said quietly, his eye still closed. “Didn't actually think you'd show up.”

  
Hux felt his cheeks heat up as he took a step closer to Ren. He deserved that.

  
“I'm not heartless,” he said defensively.

  
Ren scoffed again but didn't say anything else.

  
The silence was thick and Hux felt at a loss. There was an urge to step forward and take on of Ren's hands in both of his, but he didn't feel he was allowed that. Instead he went around the bed and sat in the one chair that was available, pulling it just a little closer. His emotions were all over the place. Being in his presence Hux was suddenly aware of how much he'd missed being around Ren. Even though he was in terrible condition, there was a relief to being with him again. But like holding his hand, Hux didn't think he was allowed to share that either.

  
The last time they'd seen each other they'd been yelling. Hux didn't remember what started that particular argument but the end of it had been Ren telling him that he couldn't just leave like that. It hurt to think back on, even if he'd known it was for the best. They both deserved something better than constant fighting.

  
But still….

  
“I'm sorry,” Hux said quietly, and oh if those weren't two of the hardest words to say.

  
Ren opened his eye again and turned his head as much as he could to look at him. He sighed and stayed silent for long enough that anxiety began to creep through Hux. Maybe he really was unwanted.

  
“Whatever,” Ren mumbled.

  
Hux's heart twisted.

  
“What do you want from me?” he asked, the words coming out harsher than intended.

  
Ren glared.

  
“I don't fucking know, Hux. What do you want me to say? That I want you to fuck off and let me suffer in peace? That I want you to come back? Because I really don't fucking know. Part of me wants to hurt you to get back for how much you fucked me up and part of me wants back what we used to have. Just do whatever you want. It's what you're good at.”

  
The words cut deep through Hux and he felt himself getting angry. He'd done so much for Ren, standing by him through wild moods and desperate need for validation. There were weeks that passed where he was left emotionally drained from constantly supporting Ren through his issues. It was selfish of Ren to accuse him of that.

  
But all it took was a scan over Ren's bandaged body to have all of that anger bleed out as quick as it had arose. They shouldn't fight. Not here.

  
“Do you want me to leave?” he asked softening his voice.

  
Ren's expression saddened for a moment before settling back into neutral.

  
“No,” he muttered closing his eye again.

  
Silence resettled around them for long enough that Hux almost wondered if he'd fallen asleep. He looked exhausted enough and was more than likely being loaded with painkillers at the moment. Hux slouched in the chair and watch the heart monitor beep steadily. He thought about Ren being unsure if he wanted him gone or wanted him back, confirming that Ren wasn't over him yet either. But barely ten minutes together and they'd already started to fight… They weren't good for each other.

  
He startled when he looked back at Ren and realized he was being watched. Ren's expression reflected the pain that had showed when Hux asked if he wanted him to leave.

  
“I missed you,” Ren said quietly.

  
Hux felt himself blush and he slowly nodded.

  
“I… missed you too.”

  
“Why did you leave?” Ren asked, his voice pinched and eye looking glossy with tears. Hux felt his heart wrench and he wondered if this conversation would be happening if Ren wasn't on painkillers at the moment.

  
“We were hurting each other. When was the last time we were happy together? It was constant fighting.”

  
Ren's bottom lip quivered and he looked away.

  
“Every night,” he whispered. “I was happy every single night with you in my arms. Did you make me want to put a hole through the wall almost every day? Yes. But every night I was grateful that you were still there and would still let me hold you.”

  
Hux cursed and looked away as well. He'd felt the same thing and it showed in how hard it was to fall asleep now.

  
“It wasn't healthy,” he said weakly.

  
A tear slipped down Ren's cheek and he shook his head.

  
“I know.”

  
Ren fell asleep shortly after that, leaving Hux to stew in a turmoil of emotions.


	2. Chapter 2

Two hours passed before Ren woke up again. Hux hadn't moved since that time, struggling internally with himself the whole of it. When Ren looked over and saw him he seemed genuinely surprised.

  
“You're still here,” he said quietly.

  
Hux nodded. “I am.”

  
Ren looked down and away.

  
“I'm sorry too,” he murmured.

  
Hux's heart wrenched and he swallowed. Not once throughout their relationship had either of them apologized to the other. For little things maybe—inconsequential stuff like forgetting to grab something from the store or biting too hard during sex—but never for the things that really mattered.

  
“I started seeing a therapist after you left,” Ren added. “I've gotten a lot better about my anger.”

  
Hux's eyebrows shot up and his heart twisted harder. They both knew he had anger management issues but Ren had always refused help.

  
“That's good,” Hux said softly. At least something positive had come from their break up.

  
Silence was both easier and harder than actually carrying out a conversation and it seemed to be their default, both unsure of how to progress. Hux was at a loss with himself because he wanted so badly to amend things and get back together with Ren, but he knew how bad they could get when they were with each other. He didn't want it to go right back to fighting almost every day. So instead of addressing the obvious problem between them he changed the subject.

  
“I haven't called your family yet. I figured that between waking up to me being here versus them being here, I was the lesser of two evils.”

  
Ren huffed a laugh and looked up at Hux with a tiny smile that had his stomach in knots.

  
“They should probably know at some point though,” he continued. “Do you want me to call them?”

  
“No,” Ren answered quickly. “I'm fine. They don't need to be here.”

  
Hux raised an eyebrow, heavily debating the definition of ‘fine’ in Ren’s case, but he knew what he meant. His parents were suffocating with what they expected of him. It was reasonable that he wouldn't want them here.

  
“So do you know how long you're going to be kept here?”

  
Ren shrugged. “I think they said three to five days. Ribs have to set and they have to watch for infections in my small intestine where I got stabbed. Which also means I don't get to eat anything good for a while for even longer than that.”

  
It was said casually but Hux knew the duration had to be frustrating. Kylo hated being idle and now he was being forced into it. For his own good of course, but he would restless by tomorrow.

  
“Why were you out so late on a Wednesday anyways?” Hux asked.

  
Ren shrugged again. “I was going to work.”

  
A strange feeling twisted in Hux's gut as he realized that he didn't know everything about Ren anymore. He didn't know where he worked, how he spent his free time away from Hux, or about going to therapy. It'd only been two months but obviously things had changed. The feeling twisted harder knowing that he wasn't entitled to ask after that kind of stuff. He'd made a choice to live separately and now they were. It's what he had wanted. Or at least thought he wanted.

  
The doctor came in a while later to check on how Ren was doing and Hux took the opportunity to excuse himself. He hated how much regret he was feeling about leaving Ren and how easy it was to be around him again. He was terrified of reconnecting only to have it fall apart the way it had before, but damn if he didn't want to try.

  
Walking aimlessly he found himself back by the cafe and ordered lunch. It was just past noon so there were plenty of other people waiting in line, patients and visiting family members a like. It took a while to get food and he decided to stay in the dining area to eat it. Ren probably wouldn't appreciate him eating in front of him if he was stuck on a bland diet. He killed maybe an hour of time before heading back to where Ren was. Part of him felt like he should just leave now that Ren was conscious, but he selfishly didn't want that. His self hate for how nice it was to see Ren wasn't actually strong enough to keep him from staying as long as he could.

  
When he got back to the room, the doctor was gone and when Ren looked up he seemed visibly shocked and then relieved.

  
“I thought you left without saying anything,” he said, his voice sounding heavy and tired.

  
Hux shook his head and sat down on the chair again. “Still here. Not sure why,” he said honestly.

  
Hurt flashed across Ren’s face as he looked down again.

  
Hux silently cursed himself and tried to explain. “I just mean… is it weird that I'm here? After what happened with us? I want to stay but I'm not sure I should.”

  
“You want to stay? What does that mean?”

  
Hux pursed his lips and then sighed. “It means I like being around you, okay? I'd prefer it if this didn't happen because you almost died, but I'm… I'm glad we're talking.”

  
It was more candid than Hux usually let himself get. He didn't like baring his emotions like this but he knew there'd be no benefit in keeping them to himself either.

  
And it was worth it too, to see the smile that Ren was giving him just then.

  
“I’d also prefer to have not almost died but yeah. I'm glad too. I missed you a lot, Hux.”

  
A blush rose on Hux's cheeks and he nodded. This was ridiculous. He should know better than to encourage this, but he couldn't help but hope things could be different. With Ren actually working on managing himself and Hux realizing how much he'd loved Ren, maybe they could make things work.

  
It was a risk to ask, but they'd both be better off for getting out in the open. To stop dancing around the subject. Hux took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to steady and brace himself for whichever answer he got.

  
“Kylo, did you want to… try again? With us?”

  
His pulse was pounding in his ears as he asked it and he could feel it in his chest and neck. Ren was looking at him in shock again, searching for something on his face though he didn't know what. This damned silence would be the death of him. How could seconds feel like hours?

  
“Do you mean that?” Ren asked quietly.

  
Hux met his gaze and nodded.

  
“Yes,” Ren breathed out. “Yes, Hux, a thousand times yes. I didn't want it to end in the first place. I wanted to work on it. To get better. I know we can make it work.”

  
Hux's eyes were prickling with tears and he nodded again, not trusting his voice at the moment. He pulled the chair closer to the bed and threaded his fingers with Ren’s, careful of the IVs connected to his arm, and rested his forehead gently against the back of his hand. His heart was going absolutely haywire now, erratically beating and leaping in his chest from anxiety and excitement.

  
“Fuck, Ren, I missed you,” he whispered.

  
Ren’s hand tightened on his.

  
Neither of them said anything else but this time the silence was okay. It didn't have the tension from before, the uncertainty of where they stood. They both still wanted each other and that was what mattered. Tears were sliding down Hux's cheeks now so he kept his forehead against Ren’s hand so he wouldn't see. This was not how Hux had pictured his day going but he couldn't say that he wasn't happy. Ideally Ren wouldn't be bed ridden but he'd take what he could get.

  
Hux sat up once the tears stopped and wiped the tracks off his cheeks. He kept his one hand threaded with Ren's, even just that small point of contact feeling like a lungful of air after almost drowning. He looked at Ren with a small, tired smile as he leaned back against the chair. They had a lot of work to do, that was for sure. This wouldn't be an easy fix, but for now things were good.

  
“Oh, by the way,” Ren said. “The buttons on your shirt are off. It's been bugging me all morning.”

  
Hux frowned and looked down at his shirt to see that he'd misaligned the buttons in his rush that morning.

  
“What the hell, you noticed this before and didn't say anything? I've been walking around all day like this,” he said with annoyance. This was worth pulling his hand out of Ren's and undoing the buttons so he could do them up properly.

  
Ren laughed but it quickly turned into a cough and then a groan as he brought his hand up to his left side.

  
“Alright, no laughing I guess,” he muttered as he tried to adjust himself on the bed.

  
Pity struck through Hux again as he reevaluated Ren's condition. This whole time he'd been half focused on himself and where they stood that he'd let it distract him from why he was here in the first place. Of course he didn't forget or ignore it, but he hadn't fully digested it. Ren's face half covered in bandages, his arms scratched and bruised, broken ribs, stabbed through the gut…. If they were officially back together now, his boyfriend was in terrible shape.

  
Worried, he asked, “How are you doing? All things considered. Are you in a lot of pain? Should I grab a nurse?”

  
Ren snorted and shook his head. “I'm… fine. Yeah I'm in pain, I got pummeled by a car, but it's manageable. I passed out pretty quick so luckily I don't really remember the worst of it, but right now I can live with it.”

  
“Thanks for not dying, by the way. I would've been pretty upset.”

  
Ren looked like he was about to laugh again but he caught himself and just grinned.

  
“Aw, you do have a heart,” he teased.

  
Hux rolled his eyes and smiled back.

  
“Don't be a dick.”

  
Ren closed his eye and turned his head forward again with a small smirk.

  
“You like my dick,” he muttered.

  
Hux groaned, laughing softly as he reached for Ren's hand again to hold it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kyluxicle on tumblr!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot! Actually finished a multi chapter fic. This is a first so I'm proud of myself but honestly the bar was set pretty low with only three chapters and under 10k. Oh well still proud! 
> 
> This is unbeta-ed so please excuse mistakes ❤️

It was day three of Ren's hospital stay and, as Hux had called it, Ren was restless.

Hux had gone to work on Friday and Saturday (to make up for lost time on Thursday) and had come to visit for a couple hours each afternoon before visiting hours ended and he was sent home. Each time he showed up, Ren had lit up in a way that had Hux's heart skittering. They'd had pleasant, if somewhat careful, conversations and had kissed at the end of the second day. Hux went home that night feeling high and was finally able to get a full night's sleep for the first time since they'd broken up. 

It was Sunday now and Hux had the whole day off to keep him company. It started the same with Ren looking at Hux like he was the sun and they chatted about their lives. Turns out Ren had taken on a temporary construction job and was one of those people you silently hated for tearing up the road during the summer and causing traffic to be terrible, and that's where he was heading when he got hit. The other driver had been drunk and got out of the crash with nothing more than a concussion. It pissed Hux off that he'd gotten out of it barely harmed while Ren had almost died. At least he was facing some pretty heavy charges from all of it. 

By the time lunch came around Ren wouldn't stop fidgeting. It was obvious he wanted to get up and move, and the look he gave Hux when he told him he was going to grab some food was borderline heartbreaking. Hux came back with a salad, figuring if he had to eat in front of Ren, make it something he wouldn't be jealous of, but Ren still glared at the food like it was a personal offense. 

“What's it like to eat something other than yogurt and saltines?”

Hux snorted. 

“The lettuce is bland and I'm pretty sure the croutons are stale. You're not missing much.”

“What I wouldn't give to be able to eat a burger right now,” Ren mumbled. 

Leaning back in his chair, Hux looked Ren over for a moment. “You still have that little balcony grill at the apartment?”

Ren nodded. 

“Two weeks, and I'll grill up some juicy lucy’s.”

Ren groaned like he was in pain and cursed. 

“Fuck that sounds so good.”

“Only if you're a good boy and follow the doctor's orders though.”

Ren's eyes darted to the door and then back to Hux, a smirk growing on his face. “Two weeks and I'll make you my good boy again,” he purred. 

Heat jumped in Hux's stomach and he automatically checked the door too. He rolled his eyes at Ren, but couldn't deny that he was looking forward to sex again. Nothing but your hand and a dildo got old after two months. For all Ren's faults, his dick certainly wasn't one of them. 

“You're going to have to work for that. I'm not going to roll over and show my belly before you earn it.”

The smirk on Ren's face grew to a full grin. “You gonna put up a fight?”

“Don't worry, I'll go easy on you.”

That made Ren laugh but it was cut short by a groan when it jostled his ribs.

“God, I hate this,” he muttered. “I can't even take a deep breath without it hurting.”

Hux frowned, pity filling him despite knowing Ren wouldn't appreciate it. He wished there was something he could do to actually help, but options besides just being present were limited. 

He set aside his half eaten salad and moved his chair closer to the bed, taking Ren's hand in his. 

“Let me know if I can do anything to help,” he said quietly, raising their joined hands to kiss Ren's knuckles. Ren squeezed his hand and nodded.

He looked thoughtful for a moment and then looked up at Hux with an almost shy expression. 

“Can I have a kiss?”

Hux's stomach flipped and he tried to hold back a grin. Standing up, he leaned over Ren and brushed some of his hair away from his forehead. Ren immediately leaned into the touch and let his eyes close as Hux traced a finger over the shell of his ear. He leaned down slowly and pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss, his chest filling with warmth at the simple action. It was amazing to know he could have this again. Even if they still had things to work out, the fact that they were both willing to try was enough. 

Ren's hand lifted from the bed to rest against the back of Hux's neck, and his tongue swiped over Hux's lower lip in silent permission. His heart started to pound as Ren's tongue pressed against his and he moaned. He'd missed this so much. The kiss turned more desperate, neither of them able to get enough of the other. Ren's hand tightened on his neck and Hux's hand passed gently down Ren's chest, careful to not put pressure on his injuries. 

The door to the room opened suddenly and hurried footsteps had Hux pulling away fast, his face turning beet red as he turned to see a nurse standing in the doorway. She looked shocked for a moment but then laughed. 

“His heart monitor started increasing rapidly. I thought something was wrong,” she said smiling. “Maybe wait another day or so before we can unhook it to do anything else,” she said to Hux with a wink. 

“Of course,” he said sheepishly, looking back to Ren to see him blushing just as hard. 

“Sorry,” Ren mumbled. 

“No worries,” the nurse said. “Are you doing alright otherwise? Can I get you anything?”

Ren shook his head without meeting her eyes. “I'm fine, thanks.”

She left them alone, still smiling when she turned. Hux imagined she's probably seen for worse. 

Hux sat back down in his chair and picked up his salad again. “At least I know I still excite you,” he teased. 

Ren scoffed and scrubbed his hand over his face. “No kisses I guess then.”

“Or at least only quick ones.”

Ren turned and smiled at him, making Hux feel glad that he wasn't the one connected to a heart monitor. 

\----

On day five, Ren was discharged from the hospital with strict orders to take it easy. No exercising, no lifting anything over twenty pounds, and try to lie down as much as possible. With his car totaled and not much inclination to get behind the wheel again, Hux was the one to bring him home. The drive was quiet and it felt strange to be driving down these roads again back to their old apartment. The closer he got, the heavier the air felt as he remembered all of the fights they'd had there. He wondered if Ren was thinking about that too. 

He pulled into the parking lot and stalled for a moment before getting out of the car. He looked over at Ren who was staring at his hands. 

“Thanks,” Ren said quietly.

Hux nodded, thoughts beginning to race. Was this going to even work? There was a reason it'd fallen apart before. What if they couldn't hold back their old grudges, what if it turned to fighting every night, Ren breaking things in frustration and Hux yelling himself hoarse. He fucking loved Ren and knew Ren loved him but what if that wasn't enough. It was fully probable that the best thing for both of them would be to end this right now. All they were were two galaxies circling each, dazzled by the other’s brilliance, but once they got too close they crashed and exploded against one another in beautiful destruction. 

“Wanna come inside?” Ren asked glancing over at Hux with a look that pulled him hopelessly into his orbit. 

“Yes,” he answered with a short smile. 

They moved slowly, Ren taking careful steps so as not to jar any of his injuries. Neither of them said anything when they got to the door and Hux used the key he'd never gotten rid of to let them inside. 

The first thing Hux noticed was that it was a mess. Dirty laundry lying wherever Ren had taken it off and takeout boxes literally the coffee table. The sink was stacked with dishes and it had the unmistakable scent of boy. 

“Christ, you're pig without me,” Hux said, half teasing half serious. 

Ren huffed a short laugh and shrugged, immediately going to the couch and sitting down with a sigh. 

“Don't get hit by a car, I definitely don't recommend it,” he said, groaning as he stretched his neck. 

Hux chuckled and took off his shoes. “I'll take your word for it.”

He went over to the couch and sat down facing Ren with one leg tucked beneath him. The tension he felt in the car was still there but it felt manageable. Seeing Ren like this—relaxing on this couch as he had a thousand times before—felt safe and familiar. He put his hand on Ren's thigh and rubbed it absently. 

“Can I get you anything? Water, food?”

Ren looked from the hand in his leg and then up at Hux's face, a small smirk tugging at his lips. 

“A kiss? Now that we don't have to worry about nurses checking up on my heart rate.”

Hux laughed, a slight flush coloring his cheeks at the memory. More than once in those following days he'd thought about kissing and touching Ren just to hear the monitor quicken. It was unique to be able to hear the effect he had on Ren. 

“I can do that,” he said returning Ren's smirk. He moved closer so Ren wouldn't have to lean and put pressure on his ribs, sinking a hand into thick hair that desperately needed to be washed. A shower was high on the to-do list to get the scent of the hospital off of Ren's skin. 

Their lips touched and a spark of desire instantly lit in Hux's belly. The touch of Ren's hand on his waist and fingers slipping beneath his tshirt to touch skin fueled that desire and the kiss deepened. He moaned and let Ren claim his mouth, tongue moving slick against each other and teeth nipping at lips on the pull back. Hux's breaths became shorter and he pushed harder against Ren, his hand tightening in black hair and drawing a hiss from Ren. 

“Needy,” Ren chided, his voice low and throaty in a way that had Hux's blood rushing south. 

He missed this. He missed it so much he felt like he was breathing clean air for the first time in months. Every touch and movement of Ren against him was electricity crackling beneath his skin and it was addictive, keeping him pressed against Ren for more until he was dizzy. 

Ren's hand had wandered further up, pulling his shirt up to his chest so he could tweak one of Hux's nipples. Hux sucked in a sharp breath and cursed, breaking the kiss just leaning his forehead against Ren's. Ren continued playing with his chest, rolling the hardened bud between his fingers and then moving to the other to give it the same treatment until Hux was half hard in his pants. 

“Fuck, I missed you, Hux,” Ren said echoing Hux's feelings. Hux nodded and whined when Ren's fingers pinched his nipple before pulling his hand away and smoothing down the front of his shirt. 

“Think it's breaking doctor's orders if we move to the bedroom?” Ren murmured. 

Hux laughed breathlessly. 

“Yes,” he said with a lopsided grin. “Let's do it.”

He helped Ren stand up from the couch, catching his lips in another kiss once he was standing. Hux sighed happily before taking Ren's hand and leading him to the bedroom. It was just as much of a mess in here as it was in the living area—laundry everywhere, bed unmade, the bedside table and dresser stacked with unnecessary items and food wrappers. 

“God, you need help,” Hux muttered as Ren sat on the edge of the bed and started taking off his clothes. Ren winced as he brought his arms above his head and Hux quickly stepped forward to help him, tugging the shirt off so Ren wouldn't accidentally pull anything. Hux scrunched his nose a little at the waft of sterile hospital smell that came off him with the shirt. 

“You know what, we're going to shower first. This smell needs to be gone.”

Ren laughed quietly but agreed. They both finished undressing before going back down the hall to the bathroom. When Hux was bent over adjusting the water temperature, Ren came up behind him and started squeezing his ass. Hux groaned and let it happen, enjoying the feeling of those huge hands on him, spreading his cheeks and ghosting his thumb over his hole. 

“Patience,” Hux warned as he turned on the shower. Ren looked far too pleased with himself when Hux faced him. He rolled his eyes before reaching for the bandages still around Ren's waist. As they came off it revealed what would eventually be a asty looking scar above his right hip. Ren tensed as Hux lightly drew his finger over the stitches. The bruising around his chest had faded to yellow now, but still indicated all the places Ren was still tender. 

“Come on,” he said softly as he stepped into the shower. 

He let Ren stand with his back to the spray and lifted his hands to help keep the water from pouring over his face as he wet his hair. He took the opportunity to take in the injury that bisected his face. Instead of stitches they had used some sort of glue—the cut being too wide towards his jaw to actually stitch together. When he'd first seen Ren's face without the bandages his stomach had knotted. While it would be as bad as the scar on his side, it would undoubtedly become a defining feature of his face. Hux wanted to touch it the way he had with the other one, but didn't want to disturb the ointment that was spread across it. 

He helped Ren wash, both as an excuse to freely touch him and to make sure he was properly clean. After seeing the apartment he wasn't sure he trusted Ren to do a good job cleaning anything including himself. Not to mention his movements were limited at the moment. That probably should be his first reason for doing it, but water-slick sculpted muscles that he hadn't been able to touch in months took priority. 

They kept it short as Ren wasn't up to full strength yet and got tired quickly, but the promise of the bed kept them from getting too involved in each other. After drying off they went into the bedroom and Ren laid down with a groan, shifting to get comfortable against the pillows. Typically Hux would've crawled over him and sat over his hips but he was sure that would be a good idea so he laid down on his side next to Ren and lightly ran his hand down his chest. 

“Think you can handle me riding you or should we wait a couple days?” Hux asked leaning in to nuzzle against Ren's jaw, grateful that he could only smell soap. “As much as I want your cock in me, I don't want to be the reason your wound opens up again.” He drifted his fingers around the cut in his side and grinned when he looked down to see said cock growing hard. 

Ren cursed when Hux's hand drifted down to wrap around the base of it, gently stroking it until it hardened further. 

“I…” Ren paused, actually giving his state thought rather than just going for it. It was nice to see him not being brashly impulsive. “Reverse,” he said hoarsely. “Ride me reverse and lean forward. Most of your weight will be at my thighs instead my stomach.”

Hux looked from his cock to his face, grinning at the way he bit his lip and his cheeks were flushed. 

“I can do that,” he murmured as he leaned up to kiss his lips. 

Ren moaned into it and his hand came up to settle on his waist. The kiss grew sloppy and their teeth clicked together as Ren pushed up against him to quickly. Hux smiled and trailed kisses across his cheek to his ear. 

“Do you want to prep me or do you want to watch?” he murmured in Ren's ear. 

Ren cursed and his grip momentarily tightened on Hux's hips. “Let me do it,” he groaned. 

Hux nodded and swallowed thickly, anxious for Ren to be inside him again. Now that he was so close he felt impatient. It was easy to wait when you couldn't see what you wanted but now it was within his grasp and all patience had fled. He got off of Ren and opened the draw of the night stand to find the lube and condoms where they always had been. Although there was a toy in there he wasn't familiar with. 

He picked up the good sized dildo and looked at Ren with a smirk. 

“Miss me?”

“Fuck you, you know I did,” Ren snapped back even as he grinned back at Hux. 

Hux chuckled and put it back in the drawer before getting on the bed and handing the lube off to Ren. He settled with his knees on either side of Ren's hips facing away from him and bending over to present his ass. 

Large hands came up to squeeze both cheeks and he gave an appreciative hum, leaning back into the touch. His heart raced as he listened to the cap pop open and the soft squelch of liquid as Ren warmed it up before touching a single finger to his hole. Hux let out a breathy whine as it slowly pushed in, and he leaned back further to get more of the thick digit inside of him. Ren worked steadily until Hux was relaxed to take a second finger, and then a third. The wet sound of his fingers moving in Hux’s ass was as arousing as the actual feeling of it. He knew they had to be somewhat careful while doing this, but he wanted nothing more in that moment than to be made a complete mess by Ren.

He let out a small gasp when Ren pulled his fingers out and left him momentarily empty. The crinkling of a wrapper followed by a muted grunt signalled that Ren was putting on the condom. When it was on he grabbed Hux by the hips and angled them down so that the head of his cock was bumping against his hole. Hux took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he sat himself down on Ren’s cock. 

God he’d missed this.

A real cock was so much more intimate than a toy. Ren’s curved ever so slightly and gave under pressure when Hux briefly clenched around him, and throaty moan sounding from behind him as he did it and making him grin. He leaned forward with his palms on Ren’s thighs and worked his hips up and down until his ass met curling pubic hair that tickled his skin.

He looked over his shoulder to see Ren staring at where his cock disappeared inside Hux with a dazed look, lips parted and his chest rising and falling with quick breaths. His gaze flicked up to Hux’s and he tightened his fingers on his hips.

“Move,” he whispered. “Please.”

Hux shivered as the low timbre of Ren’s voice traveled through him and he nodded, rolling his hips and giving Ren what he’d asked for. He started slow for both of their sakes—giving himself time to adjust and being cautious of Ren's injured state—and built up a steady rhythm that had them panting. Ren's hands roamed from his hips up his back and then down again, touching Hux everywhere he could reach. It felt amazing to be touched again and Hux sped up until his ass was slapping against Ren's hips with every movement.

He wished he was facing forward so he could watch Ren's face but it was hard to keep looking back while fucking himself. He wanted to see the way that he knew Ren's brow drew in and his face flushed until color spread down his chest. He could hear Ren muttering almost incoherent praise and wanted to lean in and kiss him, touch him as much as possible while his cock dragged over his prostate. 

Angling his hips he found the right motion to at least do that. Sparks of pleasure scattered across his skin and he let out a breathy whine. 

“Kylo,” he gasped. “Fuck, Kylo I missed this. Missed you.”

He heard the click of Ren's throat as he swallowed and slowed enough to have more control and look over his shoulder. Ren was looking at him like he was all that mattered in the world and Hux's chest tightened. He closed his eyes and dropped his head forward as the pleasure continued to grow and he felt wetness gather in his eyes. Ren's hands settled on his hips again and he squeezed. 

“I missed you too,” Ren rumbled. 

Hux's jaw quivered and he bit his lower lip as he focused on getting them off. Ren cried out and cursed as he clenched around him, his hands tightening further. 

“Close,” Ren breathed out. “I'm close, Hux.”

Hux nodded and removed one hand from Ren's thigh to wrap around his cock and stroke it in time with his thrusts. Ren pulled him down hard and Hux yelled as his orgasm hit hard, flooding his body with waves of numbing pleasure. He stroked himself through it until he was twitching away from his own touch. Ren must've come at the same time as his grip softened and his body relaxed beneath Hux. 

Carefully Hux pushed himself up, sighing as Ren's softening cock slipped out of him. The condom was removed and tied off before Ren dropped it onto the bedside table. Hux crinkled his nose in disgust and made a note that he needed to get this apartment back in shape. 

For now though he laid himself down next to Ren and snuggled close, draping an arm over his chest. He felt pleasantly dated and tired as Ren turned his head to smile softly at Hux. They shared a lingering, chaste kiss before resting back against the pillows. 

Hux stared at the scar bisecting Ren's face with mingled feelings and sympathy and fondness. The crash was a terrible thing to have happen but he couldn't help but feel somewhat grateful for the turn of events. If it wouldn't have happened he wouldn't be here with Ren after all. 

“I'm glad we're here,” Hux said quietly in a rare show of openness. He figured it was one of the things they'd need to work on if things were going to go well this time around. 

Ren hummed, the corner of his lips turning up in a small smile. Instead of saying anything he pulled Hux closer to his side and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Hux felt confident in that moment that everything would be alright.


End file.
